Make It Worth It

So, I read a blog today that I've been following off of the Because I Said So blog by Dawn Meehan, about 4-1/2 year old Julian Avery, who succumbed to cancer yesterday. It reminded me of the day Derrick was born, being told that his little lungs weren't quite ready to process the air he needed to breathe now that he had fulfilled his goal of being born four weeks early, and that he might need a helicopter ride to the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota. I remember the fear that he might not make it, the hope that he would, the faith in the Lord that he wouldn't need to go, and how making those calls to friends and family were so different than all the others I'd made with my previous two boys. I look at Derrick now, 3 years old, blonde curls, big green eyes, 35 pounds of mischief wrapped up in a cute package of kissable love, and hope, once again, that I'll always be able to have all three of my goofy monsters around for a very long time, because despite the 3 weeks of daily hospital visits, the 3 swim suits and 3 sets of goggles we've gone through in the last 4 months for swim team, the ripped jeans and the unbearable frustration sometimes, I'll never regret that they're a major part of my life...ever. It's stories like Julian's that make me stop for a minute, look at my life and say "Okay, is it really THAT major? Will this matter in 5 years? In 5 minutes? Can I forgive this?" Of course, I can. I can forgive Trey for being irresponsible with his swim gear, even though it costs a fortune sometimes. I can forgive Talin for being rough on his pants legs and ripping holes in the knees. I can forgive Derrick for killing two fish we just got Friday night in less than 48 hours by giving them too much fish food. (I bet the fish are not too happy with me for that one, huh?) I can forgive my husband, family, friends....because in the end, it's not my opinion that matters anyways...it's God's.

Fly with the angels Julian...and thanks for touching my life. Run painlessly free now that your cancer is gone, and hug the angels and Jesus for me while you're busy being the little kid you didn't get a chance to be here with us. Thanks for bringing the important things back into focus for me.