Life Needs A Hefty Bag

Something that will hold everything, expand beyond comprehension, and still not split at the seams.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Near Death Experience

Derrick had a near death experience today. I was just typing along, working like a good little person, when the breaker flipped downstairs. I stopped at the john on my way down (the room that the breaker box is in gives me the willies!!), and the room was promptly re-occupied by my husband while I went downstairs to reset the breaker. I climbed back upstairs with a basket of clean laundry (had forgotten it earlier when I was down there before work), sat down to turn my computer back on and get going back to work. That's when I noticed it. My two diamond rings were MISSING!! All that was left was my gold band. I asked Bub if he'd put them up or seen Derrick with them. He said no, that he was in the bathroom and hadn't heard anything. So I asked Derrick, "Where did you put Mommy's pretties?" I showed him my gold band so he had an idea of what I was talking about. He brought me over to the stove, pointed to the floor and said "Dropped it." So I moved the stove and saw nothing. I sat down and tried to work, but my mind kept bringing me back to needing to find my rings!! Bub said he didn't hear anything, so I figured they HAD to be on the carpeting somewhere. I punched out of work for my lunch break and got down on all fours, looking closely at our (desperately needing to be vacuumed) carpet for any sign of a glimmer, a shimmer, a hint of glint...ANYTHING. Derrick was now on time-out until I found my rings...even if it took a week and a half...he was going to stay THERE! He watched me crawl around on my hands and knees like a handicapped neanderthal for 15 minutes or so. I gave up, I asked him again, "Where did you put Mommy's pretties!!" Okay, I demanded it. He brought me back over to the stove. I had already checked there!! I decided my youngest child wasn't smart enought to realize the difference between what he did with something and the hole in the wall I was ready to make out of sheer anger. I looked. I cried. I cleaned. Then Bub had the idea that when he came out of the bathroom he had seen Derrick standing by the fridge, so maybe they were under there. We moved the fridge, and my brilliant husband's idea paid off...half-way. One of my rings was indeed trapped under the fridge amongst the other prisoners held captive, the magnetized alphabet, tin-foil wrapper balls, all guarded by big, black dust bunnies!! Bub swept the mess up, moved the fridge back and forth a few more times in order to free more debris, and then we decided that my other ring wasn't under there. Well, I figured if one was under the fridge, maybe the other really was under the stove. So we moved the stove half way across the kitchen (we have a small kitchen, so this really is possible), and LO AND BEHOLD A MIRACLE OCCURRED!! My other ring was sitting there, in a pile of fuzz and dust at an angle that I hadn't been able to see the last time I'd moved the stove. HALLELUJAH!! Derrick was allowed out of time out. I hadn't felt that much relief since, well...I'll get back to you on that. Derrick was promptly taught he is NOT to touch Mommy's pretties at all!

My rings now have a new resting place while I work, up all the way on top of my computer armoire where Derrick can't see them, and even more importantly cannot REACH them! This should save me the grief of being insanely angry at myself, and even more angry at him for taking them and losing them. I have never, EVER been as angry at any of my kids for any stunt they've ever pulled as I was at Derrick today. This one is going in the books, folks...and he's getting reminded of this at every major event in his life!! LOL

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  • At 7:22 PM , Blogger Valarie said...

    I am so glad you found them. But just think...It could have been worse....he could have eaten them!!

  • At 9:32 PM , Blogger onthegomom said...

    I am laughing so hard at Valerie's comment because as I was reading this I was *waiting* to read that you figured out he ATE them! And that is how he had a near death experience... it wasn't until I got to the end that I "got" what you meant by that. (I'm a little slow today... okay... everday but whatever). I am sooooooooo glad you found them and Derrick's life was spared :)

  • At 9:46 PM , Blogger Valarie said...

    Hey girl....where did you disappear to??

  • At 12:27 AM , Blogger Rick said...

    I lost my ring for several months one time - I actually cried when I found it in the floor of my closet.

    I've been visiting the blog of those that have posted on mine because I'm having a little give-way over at my blog to celebrate one year of blogging - no gimicks - just some fun.


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